Confessions of a Demonized Christian: How I received another "Jesus"

“‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope’” (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV).

[The Introduction to my forthcoming book, to be published online, follows.]

Many books have been written about demon affliction, but my Confessions of a Demonized Christian is unusual in that it is a frank, first person account of the sin and folly that led to my occupation and affliction by demons while I was already a Christian. Although my Confessions do not rise to the level of Augustine’s Confessions, neither do they descend to the level of the Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau, who, it is said, tried to justify himself by admitting the bad things he had done. My purpose in writing my book as a confession is, first, to help similarly afflicted Christians recognize that they have suffered demonic incursion. Then, by telling the story of how—by God’s grace—I overcame my demons, I want to help demonized Christians overcome theirs. Finally, I want to help others avoid such demon incursion. Therefore, I believe that my Confessions are more akin to Augustine’s than to Rousseau’s because I share with Augustine the goals of the edification of the church and the glory of God.

I think my 38-year track record as a Christian writer shows my seriousness of purpose and the absence of sensationalism in my writing. And all my Christian writing was done after having been demonized in 1970. My first major Christian publication was my exposé in Christianity Today (December 21, 1973) of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s deceptive presentation of Transcendental Meditation (TM) as non-religious in order to insinuate it into public schools in the United States. That was followed by InterVarsity Press’s booklet on TM (1974) and by TM Wants You! (Baker Book House, 1976), a book on TM co-authored with Vail Hamilton (Carruth), a former teacher of TM.

I prepared for these publications by interviewing people involved in TM, often sharing the gospel with them. While maintaining respect for the humanity of TM’s practitioners, I was able to calmly expose the deceptive presentation of Hindu-based TM as non-religious, reveal the anti-biblical character of Eastern spirituality and warn against the dangers of demonic incursion from its practice.

My academic degrees include a BS in Engineering from UC Berkeley and an interdisciplinary MA in Politics and Literature from a small liberal arts university in Texas. With this background, I have published articles on subjects ranging from quantum mechanics (Touchstone, April 2004) to the rescue of Jews in Le Chambon, France. In addition, I have critiqued some of the Harry Potter books for American Spectator Online, and I am working on a literary appreciation/critique of Jack London’s “To Build a Fire.”

The New Testament term “demonize” (daimonízomai) denotes being under the power of a demon or demons. I suffered demonization as a pervasive occupation of my body and a devastating affliction of my soul by demons, in which they subjected me to agonies of fear and anxiety and various physical afflictions. They never succeeded in suppressing my mind and gaining complete control of my body, but I did have one Hell of a fight because my body was already thoroughly occupied by evil spirits before I recognized them as demons. Nevertheless, despite their determined efforts, God’s grace was sufficient. What I learned through my experience in using the Scriptures and other means of grace against them, however, will be helpful to any demonized Christian, whatever degree of control the demons may have gained.

I received these demons at first gradually and imperceptibly through habitual sexual sin and later rapidly and palpably through false mystical experience. But there are many other avenues to demonization of believers because sins such as anger, unforgiveness, witchcraft, occultism, and recreational use of drugs have the same temporal consequences for Christians as for pagans: demonization. This, to-some, unpalatable reality has been recognized by a growing number of Christian scholars and leaders including Dr. Neil T. Anderson, Dr. Keith M. Bailey, Dr. Mark I. Bubeck, Dr. C. Fred Dickason, Dr. Ed Murphy and the late Dr. Merrill F. Unger. I share their view of this controverted subject not only from my experience, but also on the basis of the Scriptures. (See Chapter 22.)

To show exactly how demons entered my life requires that I expose the sins of other family members now dead, something that filial piety would forbid were it not for the importance of this material in making readers understand 1) How the devil operates in families and 2) How our sins can harm others in our families.

The form and purpose of my Confessions also require me to reveal my sins that opened me up to demonic incursion, including details of my sex life. This is embarrassing and humbling, and I would not do it were it not necessary to make clear just how sexual sin makes us vulnerable to entry by demons. I don’t dwell on these sins more than necessary for this purpose, but this may be a problem for readers for whom the “M-word” is a taboo. Indeed, one pastor suggested to me that perhaps the reason none of the publishers I contacted was interested in my manuscript was my frank discussion of masturbation (as sin). If that is true, perhaps the reason that alarming numbers of Christian men and pastors are said to remain addicted to pornography is that they are unwilling to confess their sin of lust under the humiliating name of the activity for the enhancement of which they pay good money to pornographers. Perhaps they are not desperate enough to admit just what they use their pornography for. Another reason may be that they have not recognized and dealt with the demonic element of their addiction.

Thus, this book will be helpful to those addicted to pornography as well as to those otherwise demonized because habitual sexual sin gives place to the devil just as much as do anger, unforgiveness, occultism and drug use. Since overcoming any of these sinful habits will likely require dealing directly with the demons involved, recognition of their presence may be the missing link necessary for victory over these sins

And there is certainly hope in Christ for all such habitual sinners and addicts, just as there is for other demonized Christians. So this book is addressed to all Christians afflicted by the devil and to those called to minister to them. For the cautionary yet hopeful story of how I became demonized and then, through the Scriptures and other means of grace, was restored to effective service in Christ’s kingdom, read the book.

David Haddon, August 19, 2011, Redding, California